‎"This place isn't mine anymore. It's nothing more than a gravestone for the place I used to know, full of memories, bitter and sweet, and entirely painful. The buildings are all the wrong colors now, you people have painted over my memories. Even those few who remembered me, who stopped to see how I was, where I had been and why I was back...They all knew me by another name."

I need to write a story based on the above snippet...It will be a sort of false autobiography. Me in a different light, me if I had taken a different road at some point...



I feel the need to ramble. And so I will tell you my story...
In days gone by, I have called myself the accursed firechild. It took a long time to overcome that feeling, the one that tells you you are not only unloved, but unlovable. Even when I was told "I love you" by various people, I didn't truly feel it. I still felt that no one could love me, I was accursed. I didn't even love myself, how could I?
Finally, I started to feel that God loved me, as parts of my curse were lifted, and other parts defined. I started to feel less alone. I had some friends, and at some point my dear boyfriend came into the picture. As some parts of my curse gained names and definitions, I realized others were suffering similarly. Though I  remain the only one I know with my affliction, I have been told it's not entirely uncommon. It has a name, anyway, and sometimes that helps.
But sometimes it makes it worse.
It's just chemicals in my brain going haywire, screwing with me because my biology is messed up. That hurts, to realize that some tiny bit of chemical is causing me all this. Not some grand demon, not even an injury caused for good reason...no. Just chemicals. Hades....
But I'm getting sidetracked.
Once I was accursed....These days the name is simply "Firechild" or if I'm feeling good, "Blessed Firechild". And though my particular affliction remains, some days I do feel blessed...On those days, I remember I was given a promise. Several months ago, but I refused it then. I heard it again just about a week ago, and tears came to my eyes as I realized the giver of the promise has every ability to follow through. I must simply be ready. I was given a promise...What was it, you wonder? So simple...

"All things in time."

All things in time. What gorgeous words to my soul. This Blessed Firechild has been given her promise, by the God she once begged for a reason, for the simple answer of a reason she must suffer, even if it would only be given in her last moments. That answer has been given so much sooner. Even though the answer for now is "Wait"....it comes with an implication. "Be ready."
And for that single warning, I am gleeful. The thing, the single thing I desire...it will come. I must simply prepare, wait, and be ready. All things in time, but in God's time, not mine.

I am willing to wait.